He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
