My friends, they love my intelligence
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
