I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
