He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize