Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
