She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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