So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
