I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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