Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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