He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
