yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
