Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
