sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize