I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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