I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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