She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
