Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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