Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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