Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I need water and some morals
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize