There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
