that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
