i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
