is your mom at the bar?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
