Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
