I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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