I want to make a zoo with you.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
