Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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