Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
