in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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