Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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