grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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