omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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