We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
