I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
