We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
