Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
