I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize