PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
