I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
