I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
