fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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