Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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