physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
