He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
