I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she pinky promised me she was 18
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
