when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
