What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Randomize
