Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
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