I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize