Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
