this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
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