My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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