oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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