Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
