So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
