I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize