im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Randomize
