Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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