Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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