Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
