Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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