Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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