I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Randomize
