You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
