he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
