She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize