Christians are straight up FREAKS
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
