i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The adults are the big ones right?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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