Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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