We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
