Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
