THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
