He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize