My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
