Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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