now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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