ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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