the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
