hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
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