Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
