I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
