a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
bring money and cleavage
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
