So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
